i know this sounds ridiculous but i met this guy on a facebook game, he asked for my number but i refused to because well why would you want give out your number to a stranger he could be a scam. okay so he gave his instagram id and downloaded kik just to text me. we clicked right away. we spent days and days talking, flirting and joking and i sacrificed my time just to text him because of timezone. one night, he confessed that he had feelings for me that he never felt this great in a long time so i told him i feel the same way (tbh i’ve never fell in love this hard before) and we dated. i won’t deny that i love taking to him and i never believed in ldr before he came. we had few arguments tho, but it wasn’t serious. After days passed by, he went disappeared which i think he deleted his kik. We were good at that moment but idk what’s going on so a week later i went to his instagram to find him, just to you know clear this mess up and start over again and be friends, it doesnt matter if he changed his mind or met a new girl near him.. i just wanted to have a connection with him. The next day, i found out that he blocked me. That was a dick move but what’s worse is that i am still madly in love and maybe will die with the curiosity.
My live in boyfriend of 5 in a half years has pulled away after I became preganant and it was a planned pregnancy. He says he wants space to reflect on our relationship but still wants to work things out and is going to make an appointment with a therapist. Should I give him this space and back off? I find this situation difficult because I feel alone during my pregnancy. He also started seeing someone else just a few days of me moving out. Should I just give up on him? I still love him.

Talking about your previous relationship with your ex girlfriend can be pretty tricky because it is bound to bring up old memories and not all of those old memories are going to be very good. On top of the “bad memories” things get can get really emotional and if you don’t know how to handle those emotions the conversation is going to eat you alive.
Three weeks ago I had birthday and he said he would celebrate with me. Last minute he cancelled due to work so I was very upset:( After that I asked him to not communicate with me because I am angry at him. We went quite for a weeks and later started being in touch but since that time he’s contact me is much less frequent and he never calls me – just text. But he still writes that he loves me so much and he misses me!! I do not understand his behavior… Please tell me what you think…
I lost the love of my life over something stupid that I did. Long story short, I lied about my age. Although she didn’t care about my real age, it was the lie I carried on for a year that was part of the reason we broke up. She came from an emotionally abusive marriage and had baggage from that. And two kids who I came to love dearly – and who got along very well with mine. I know that she had issues stemming from childhood, specifically trust. But she’s an awesome girl – the love of my life, my parallel. But I messed up – I lied. Honestly, the lie started because I was afraid that she would be turned off when we first met (she’s 28 and I’m 48)…so I told her I was 44. Every time she brought up age stuff, I steered the conversation away. I wanted to tell her so many times but I knew that if I did that would end things. So I let it go and my heart is breaking because of it. It was her abusive ex-husband who cued her in and she defended me to him until I admitted it. Now, she won’t have anything to do with me. The breakup ended VERY BADLY. Probably the worst I’ve ever experience. Yelling/screaming/crying/etc. She said she can’t believe a word I said and felt like I used her for sex. She said that if I ever contacted her again that I’d be sorry. So I haven’t. At first after the breakup I did what everyone does – texted/called/emailed. I didn’t know of these steps. At any rate, she won’t talk and the last time we did I was met with extreme hostility. I know this one is done. Had I followed this advice there might have been a chance. But I doubt even that. Lessons learned the hardest of all ways. I wanted to marry her. It would have been my second and her third. I love her with all my heart and soul – she his my parallel. The yin to my yang.
Well, let me just say this. Having an intense conversation with your ex right after a breakup is not a good idea. In fact, I think it is one of the dumbest ideas there is. Now, I do realize that logically you may realize that this is the case but when you are actually in a situation that you have so much invested in it is hard to take a step back and think logically.
Ask for forgiveness. This can be the most difficult thing to do after an affair, no matter which side of the relationship you are on. Asking for forgiveness, however, is the only way to start the healing process – you cannot move forward if your partner is still harboring feelings of resentment. While you might not get forgiveness immediately, you need to humble yourself and ask for it anyway.

Thanks, and I am happy you enjoy the articles. It seems as though you gave him too much early on. I know right now it hurts but what I would suggest you do is focus on you and what makes you happy. Push away a little bit because he has to feel as though he is losing you too. Slow the pace of things when he reaches back out and don't come off too eager for a relationship. The one thing I have to mention here is if he is not ready for a relationship with you then you cannot force this. The best thing you can do is take a step back and let him pursue you.

1. Think patterns, not people. When thinking about relationship problems it’s easy to think in terms of people, specifically who is right, who is wrong, who is screwed up, and who is really screwed up. This isn’t usually helpful and only leads to a blame game. Instead of people, think patterns. A does something, this triggers B, who in turn triggers A, then B. Some patterns are beneficial and help us stay sane and stable, others are neutral habits, and some are deadly and capable of damage. 
The problem with making yourself too "available" when he's playing hot and pretending not to notice when he's playing cold is, you've made it clear you're going to be sticking around no matter what. Unfortunately, this means he feels confident continuing this behavior because he knows there won't be any consequences. You will be there when he wants, and he can ignore you when he doesn't.
Starting last week, she began to stop texting me and she would not respond to any of my offers to speak over the phone. My first response to this was to let it go for a couple of days. Then, I wrote her a kind letter (not discussing our issues) and mailed it to her (trying something new to keep the relationship interesting). When she received the letter in the mail, she responded, saying she would send me a note back.
Y’all are making this too complex. Look, a guy falls in love through sex, he needs sex to fall in love, but he’s got to want to have sex with you and thats more than just being hot. It comes down to what you make him feel about himself when he’s around you. Do you make him feel competent, powerful, benevolent, like he’s capable and attractive and trusted? Or do you make him feel he cant do anything right, like a child, stupid, worthless, weak?
Similarly, Ive seen my brother go through something similar. He did the exact thing with his current girlfriend, he moved out for a week to retreat after a minor conflict, and she was so upset, leaving presents at the door and calling me to find out if he was ok etc. I had to tell her to stop and give him space. He came around, I didnt pressure him and didnt go into it much. But the up side is that he’s still with her now.
If a man is honest and tells you he does not want a relationship, then as a woman you should honor his truth in telling you this and take a moment to reflect and understand that you may need to pull away. Not to mention, if he also gives you the popular one-liner by saying, “I’m just seeing where things go,” proceed with caution. This is not a committed answer, so why would he want to commit to you? This is just an answer to lure you away from the truth in hopes to keep you around for what he is in search of pleasure and attention.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 15 months and we are facing a major problem. I just want to start off with saying that she’s the one that recommended me to ask you for advice because right now, I am pretty much confused to do at this point. My girlfriend has told you about what she did when she went over to that guys house and about another guy who is a co-volunteer that volunteers at the nursing home as she does. I have gotten numerous screenshots about she herself committing to what she have done, which is cheating. I also have her best friends claiming those that she did do those things. When i confronted her for the first time she only told me one third of it. Again i find there’s more to the story from her friends. Again i try confronting her and now she told me 2/3. You know where I’m going with this. Anyway now that everything has been cleared out, i asked her why. She told me “i just said all those things because out of anger”. But then i asked her why would she say that. She was angry at me at the time when this occurred so i would understand that she could be saying this out of anger but why not clear this out with her friends? Plus this been hidden for 6 months so why this long? Also one of my friends saw her but they said nothing was happening, just her and this guy in the park talking. I let that go. Then another friend who is currently dating one of her ex-best friends told me that she told him about her cheating. I asked him why would she say that and he said that she was claiming to hurt me by the way is not because she kept it hidden. I asked her about that too and she claims the something, it was out of anger she said all those things to hurt me. This situation happened throughout last summer. I admit that i did not reply to her text for 2 days and keep making her feel bad but i always made sure to make up for that. Now we are trying to work things out but I’m still something sort of confused what to do, so that’s why i writing to you for some advise.
Some arguing is normal in a relationship. You may go through phases of fighting due to outside factors, which is also normal. The important thing is how you argue, how you deal with arguments after, how you heal together, and the way you communicate. The best way to avoid a fight getting out of control is to walk out of the room and not escalate the situation. 

So many red flags! He seems abusive. For starters, he shouldn’t be calling you names and putting you down. And the fact that he dislikes your being independent and ought to be cleaning or cooking for him is so sexist, I can’t even… All this leads me to believe he will be physically and more emotionally abusive as time goes by. Run as far away as possible. I know it’s hard, but I don’t see your situation getting better. Stay safe.
In fact, seeing a reconciliation as anything other than a combination of mutual growth and effort is a pretty unhealthy approach. "I would avoid the mindset of 'winning' over anyone," says Dr. Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D., who teaches relationship psychology at the University of Toronto. "If your relationship is missing some key attributes, no one has won in the end."
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Months after we got together I moved in with him and ever since things a very slowly been going down hill. Our sex life is horrible we barely even do it and here lately I’ve been thinking about calling it quits. He has many issues that he never deals with and when it comes to our problems he never wants to talk about anything. I have been trying so hard to make things work and I just don’t have it in me anymore I’m putting 100% into this relationship and it feels like hes only giving 50.

Talking about your previous relationship with your ex girlfriend can be pretty tricky because it is bound to bring up old memories and not all of those old memories are going to be very good. On top of the “bad memories” things get can get really emotional and if you don’t know how to handle those emotions the conversation is going to eat you alive.


But chronic attention seekers are annoying to you – why? Because often, their pattern of chronic attention seeking comes from not actually feeling all the attention they do already get. When you don’t allow yourself the feeling – when you reject it – your need for it persists because your body never had the sensation it needed to make you feel full.
Big or small, you have a few options. You could try and sort this out on your own (you’ve probably already tried that); do nothing and see if it somehow gets better (probably not), or you could take the plunge and go see a professional – a couple therapist (a decidedly better if somewhat scary idea). The therapist has a leg up over the other options in a few ways. One is perspective – she is looking at your relationship from the outside, rather than in the emotionally stuck middle that you are undoubtedly in. Not only does this make it easier for her to be a voice of reason and reality, but she can also see the greater gestalt that, up close, you cannot. But the other big advantage is that she probably thinks about relationship problems and solutions a bit differently than you might. 

Generally, it’s usually as simple as him needing space. Marriages can be extremely fulfilling in their unity, but at times being around one another too often can feel repetitive and can get stale. Always try to do new things and give each other space when needed. Don’t think the worst is happening just yet. Relationships, especially marriages, always have their ups and downs.
Getting your ex back is only hard when you make mistakes. Unfortunately, it’s really easy to make mistakes when you’re struggling with the pain of a breakup with usual feelings of being lost, confused, and miserable. You might find yourself inundated with the question: I want my ex back, but where do I even start? Will my ex ever come back? How do you get your ex boyfriend back? And if it’s been long enough: Is it possible to get your ex back after months?

Skip the drama, the playing victim, the manipulation. Again, be adult. Think about you, what you can do to fix the problem. Yes, do your best to let the other person know what you need and what (s)he can concretely do to make things better, but then get to work. Buckle down and do what you can to make the situation and problem better without keeping score, tallying up martyr points, without any expectations of the other. Again, since the focus is on changing patterns, if you do your part the best you can, things will begin to change. 

My best advice is that you have to feel it out. Generally, if you are responding emotionally to her messages then she is probably responding emotionally to yours. The key to leaving her wanting more is finding the high point of the emotional conversation. In other words, you need to keep an eye out for a text message that satisfy all three characteristics.
Put out the fire by focusing directly on the process, the emotions and actions. We’re beginning to argue, I’m starting to feel angry. Fix the emotion – your anger – by breathing and calming yourself down, by walking away. Do your best to stay out of the weeds of content; if you don't, you'll wind up talking about Christmas '08 again, and you know where that leads. 
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Months after we got together I moved in with him and ever since things a very slowly been going down hill. Our sex life is horrible we barely even do it and here lately I’ve been thinking about calling it quits. He has many issues that he never deals with and when it comes to our problems he never wants to talk about anything. I have been trying so hard to make things work and I just don’t have it in me anymore I’m putting 100% into this relationship and it feels like hes only giving 50.

I JUST went thru this with my boyfriend of almost a year. He got VERY distant for 2 weeks and when I pushed him to find out what was up, he said he was 50/50 about our relationship and needed time to think. So I gave it to him and NEVER reached out again. I didnt even sign into social media, I wanted him to have no idea what I was up to. After 2 weeks of no contact, he texted me today pouring his heart out about how he messed up and all he thought about was me, etc etc. Everything I’ve only ever dreamed of him saying and he NEVER says his feelings towards me, but has always shown them in affection. We are meeting tonight after he begged to see me to talk. I still can’t believe he admitted he was scared that he messed things up and realized he was throwing away a good thing. We still have a lot to work out, but I think this is a great start. Hang in there everyone who is going thru the same thing!


Furthermore, I want to mention something else that is aligned to this. I have seen several woman date a man and then come back and say “He was so into me in the beginning, he courted me and showered me with gifts, said all the right things, and was so eager to make me his.” But then once this man gets what he wants he moves on, and his actions start to change slowly. I call this type of man “the snake.” Men like this tend to be very narcissistic but also tend to get what they want often. They have a thrill of the chase, and they see a significant reward for their ego when they have won their prize. I always tell women to be VERY careful of a man who is too forward in the beginning. Take your time, and challenge someone who may be extremely forward. So many women fall for a man like this because we are hopeless romantics and you are pretty amazing! So, when you a see a man showing you so much affection and attention it starts to get you to think, “wow he is so different!” Right? Then you play this emotional mind game in your head stating “I would be stupid if I let this go.” I am going to explain further as you read on.
Hello I can imagine your going through a hard time trying to understand this guy. He’s confusing you because he’s confused himself. He has distanced himself because this is what guys do when they are thinking if they want to be with you or not. This also shows how he doesn’t care much about you and more about himself. He says these things like I miss you and all that stuff to make sure your still around for him as an option but does his words match his actions? If he missed you he woukd see you. Does he see you? No ? Then he’s not telling the truth he’s using words to keep you about for his own ego and loneliness. There’s a way u can find out if he wants to be with you or not and that’s by ignoring him he sends u a msg like I miss you can I talk to u or just hello no mater what his msg says u say nothing. A woman’s silence shows and expresses your hurt more than your anger and words do. This also gives him time to properly miss you and it also stops you looking easy in his eyes men want a challenge they want to chase so give him what he wants and don’t feel bad about it either he hurt you did he care ? Sounds like he didn’t.
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it an emergency if he’s without some of his stuff. However, if for whatever the reason he was so worried something happened to you, at some point he would ACTUALLY start looking for you, whether it’s at work or at home, in which you would find it sweet of course, but at the same time you can tell him you’re fine and just need some space.
Hi, please i need your help. I Met a man from a dating app, he was very Nice to me, he was in my country, then he travelled back to his country. I thought i lost him after he travelled, so i wanted to stay away, because i thought i Will never see him again, then he told me he Will come back, so i should not stay away from him. So we chat everyday and he always responds to my texts. Then oneday, he Said he likes me. Later he changed, i dont understand him anymore now, he is distant, and i asked him if he has a girlfriend over there now, and he Said yes. Later he Said No, he was joking. I dont know if he is playing with me or not. What do you Think please ?

One day I went to a boys house. He had come from Florida and it was a meet up. Lasting for 25 minutes, no longer. We were sitting on separate couches and he was playing a video game. Out of no where he kissed me and I pushed him off and left his house. His friend was outside and I just walked out and left. I volunteer at a nursing home and over the summer their was another volunteer working their as well. We went to IHOP together but as co workers. We even payed for our own food. When we were done eating he went his way because his aunt was going to pick him up and I went my way. We watched Planes 2, his cousins wanted to see the movie and I paid for my own ticket while he bought for him and his cousins. We waited and I told him to call, his cousins said no so what were we supposed to do with 5 tickets? We watched the movie. I sat in the last row because I like to sit in the back and he sat in the middle. When it finished he went his way and I went mine. I normally leave the nursing home at 5-6. I had to leave early one day and we sat in the park and talked as usual about the nursing home. Things like how long we worked their or what old people we were close to. My boyfriends friend saw us but nothing was happening. He walked his way because again, his aunt was picking him up and I took my bus home. After those times I haven’t seen or talked to either of them. My boyfriend has screenshots and I told him I was loyal and nothing had happened. I only took long to tell him. How do I prove something that I did not do? Please help us,
After a breakup, it can be hard to move on. In fact, simply breaking up will not make the feelings you have towards your partner go away. On the contrary, quite the opposite tends to happen; your attraction to your partner becomes stronger and stronger. Thus, winning back the one you love soon becomes your primary objective. In order reclaim your joie de vivre, you feel like you need their presence, and you’re wondering if your can text your ex back into your arms…
my ex contacted me out of the blue, after 6 months with a simple how are you doing, I waited at 30 minutes before replying. thank you, I hope you are doing well. well any how we met the same night one thing led to an other and we had sex. we talked for hours as of nothing had happened. I sent him a good morning text and vaguely replayed and has not messaged. should I wait until he does or text him first
In the dating world, I often see that one of the most common reasons men pull away is that they find the woman to be challenging, and she gives in because she likes him. She starts settling and making excuses for his lazy or inappropriate behavior. There are many times I see a woman dating a man, and he shows all the signs that he is not ready for a relationship with his behavior and his words. Instead of pushing yourself towards him in the hopes of changing his mind, I believe the right thing to do in this situation is to dig deep into your feelings. If you can control your feelings by maintaining a friendship, then go for it. (And I’m not talking about being “friends with benefits.”)
The way you can make him regret it is by moving on and being happy without him. Positive attitude and change is what draws people back to you. With that said he might reach out again and don't be too easy to let him in. You want to make sure he has changed too. Follow a couple of things I've mentioned in this blog and stick to focusing on you and letting go of him one step at a time.
Take responsibility for your mistakes. Avoid making excuses, blaming your partner, or dismissing the affair as “a one-time thing.” In order to ask for forgiveness and begin moving on you need to take ownership of your infidelity. By taking a good, hard look at yourself you can eventually realize what made you decide to cheat and find ways to avoid making the same mistake.[8]
Also, when a woman is trying to fit the mold of another person and is clearly trying to be someone else, it comes off as disingenuous – even desperate, which is not a good look. There is nothing more attractive and sexy than a woman who doesn’t care who does, or doesn’t like her. When it seems like your entire world is depending on that person you have automatically devalued yourself, while rasing them onto a pedastal. In order to be the most attractive to men you have to at least be on their level, or above. This kind of skewed dynamic with him taking priority over you never works out, no matter how hard you try.
But when do men ever take responsibility for their actions? At some point you guys need to realize that you play an equal role in the deterioration of relationships. I always take responsibility for my actions so when do men admit, “Hey, I’m also to blame as well.” Society has taught me that their behavior is excusable. The focus is always on women learning to adjust and change her behavior and blaming women for men pulling away but its never the other way around. It’s sad that men are taught that a woman being concerned about a man disappearing means… Read more »
Thank you, Ray. I needed a male’s perspective, I’m hurt & all my girl friends are angry, so I can relate to almost all of these posts. I have been with a man that “needs his space” & needs a woman to be understanding about it. It’s hard for me because although we have been in a relationship for just a week over a year, I’ve been in love with him for 20. We had a 2 year off & on thing back then & I was very young & I did not understand him back then. Although I understand him now, it still hurts, & the fear is always there, nagging at me, bringing up thoughts like, is he wanting to see someone else? Am I the one pushing him away with my feelings? Why does he not love me the way I love him? Always wondering if there is someone else, but never really believing it. He told me from day one (a year ago) how he was, & I guess I decided back then I loved him enough I could handle his occasional distance & that I had enough love to push through it.
Long distance relationship, We dead-loved each other for one year and then I broke up. She left immediately and I missed her for two weeks and texted back. Three months I didnt care, She kept texting and called. slowly she came up with this breakup thing. All of a sudden she declared breakup and I couldnt digest it. I begged her for 2 weeks. Will she get back? How long should I wait?
I say that because we’ve been together for three years. I just feel like he would’ve figured out sooner than later if I was what he wanted in a girlfriend. Our relationship is/was so great. We talked everyday, some days less than others but at the beginning and end of the day we always made contact. We hung out mostly 4out of 7 days a week. We’ve always made enough time for eachother, and what we want to do ourselves. We hardly ever fought. Of course we’ve had our few disputes, but nothing we couldn’t work through.
Hello I can imagine your going through a hard time trying to understand this guy. He’s confusing you because he’s confused himself. He has distanced himself because this is what guys do when they are thinking if they want to be with you or not. This also shows how he doesn’t care much about you and more about himself. He says these things like I miss you and all that stuff to make sure your still around for him as an option but does his words match his actions? If he missed you he woukd see you. Does he see you? No ? Then he’s not telling the truth he’s using words to keep you about for his own ego and loneliness. There’s a way u can find out if he wants to be with you or not and that’s by ignoring him he sends u a msg like I miss you can I talk to u or just hello no mater what his msg says u say nothing. A woman’s silence shows and expresses your hurt more than your anger and words do. This also gives him time to properly miss you and it also stops you looking easy in his eyes men want a challenge they want to chase so give him what he wants and don’t feel bad about it either he hurt you did he care ? Sounds like he didn’t.
Using texts to get back together with your ex can lead you into pitfalls that can result in your being left for good. Sometimes it’s hard to know how to talk to an ex again, and what exactly needs to be said. Other times, a person was actually broken up with via text message and is wondering if it would be a useful method to try to get their ex back… In order to stay out of trouble and to ensure that your ex doesn’t block your number or block you on Facebook, here are 3 very important things to keep in mind when sending text messages to get your ex back.
Interpret your emotions. In the pain and confusion of a breakup, it can be easy to confuse your emotions, interpreting feelings of loneliness and hurt as evidence that you need your ex back in your life. In fact, almost everyone who experiences a breakup initially feels remorse for the lost relationship, coupled with feelings of anxiety, guilt, depression, and loneliness. Generally, the more serious the relationship was, the more severe these feelings tend to be; couples who are married or cohabiting tend to have the worst breakups, whereas those who were casually dating tend to have an easier time in the aftermath of a breakup.[1] But the severity of your feelings does not automatically mean that you should get back together with your ex.
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