My boyfriend has serious depression and anxiety, he feels worthless even when i’m the one at fault. How do i make sure that he knows i won’t leave him? I’ve told him countless times and he says he understands but sometimes he’ll make a comment like “well this will cause you to leave me” or “you’re gonna leave me after I say this…”. I really need some guidence because we are the love of eachothers lives (both of us has said it and he said it first)
1. Start out by heading down the road of healing past wounds. As you talk about the upsetting interactions that have distressed you in the past, look back on these upsetting incidents to find what you yourself can learn from each. When thinking about how to fix a relationship, mistakes are for learning. Share what you experienced, and think aloud about what you would do differently next time. If your partner joins you and does the same, convert past upsets to valuable learning moments in your life journey together.
My boyfriend and I have been arguing because I say things that he doesn’t like and I am in love with him and want to marry him he is the ONE, and I know and feel it, he feels the same and loves me as well and does see a future with my kids and I, I need to completely stop all the things that I say because I know that I am going to lose him and I don’t want to I’m scared to death that I am going to lose him, and have never been this scared to lose someone in my life, he’s such a good guy and he’s good to me and my kids, I have been completely depressed for a few days and I have been crying on a daily basis but he said that he feels he can’t talk to me anymore because I get mad at everything he says, how can I help him believe what I say and have him talk to me about things?? How can I turn things around for the better with us?? My biggest fear is losing him. I would do anything to turn things around for the better. He is still affectionate with me and tells me that he loves me everyday he is just being distant from me right now because of the things that I have said and if I could go back and change things I would in a heartbeat and from all of this going on I will never say anything like what I have again and I told him that but he doesn’t believe me and I told him that I want things to be as they were. I apologize for this being all over the place I have like I said been so depressed that I can’t even think straight, I haven’t eaten in 3 days as well. He has been so forgiving and patient with me and he is an amazing man I just don’t know what to do or say to him to help him believe that what I’m saying is real. I totally trust him I know that in my heart he would NEVER cheat on me it’s against his morals and he is a very honest and loyal man as well, I can’t and don’t want to screw this up with him, he is my world and couldn’t ask for more. He is my best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life, we are still together but I feel that he can’t be with me anymore because of the stuff that I have said. I’m torn into shreds right now and I want to prove to him that I can back up my word but I don’t know how to do that.
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it an emergency if he’s without some of his stuff. However, if for whatever the reason he was so worried something happened to you, at some point he would ACTUALLY start looking for you, whether it’s at work or at home, in which you would find it sweet of course, but at the same time you can tell him you’re fine and just need some space.
Here is the thing. You want to focus on you not only because this is healthy which is the main reason and you're putting yourself first but by putting yourself first he will want you more. There is a deep desire for people to be with someone that puts themselves first. I would not only follow his lead. Make sure you are not too available in the process and really schedule time for you. Then take control back a little bit so you can eventually see where this is headed.
I met my friend online about 5 months ago. At first he kept in constant contact with me. Then his contact became less frequent. I realized I was the one doing most of the initiating so I stepped back. After 8 days he contacted me saying I dont love him anymore. He explained the problem was not me. He schedule is very busy cause he has a 9-5 job plus an evening contract plus he own several propertyies. I thought he was lieing to me and he was a player. I found out he eas telling the truth. Most times he is extrememly tired. He made a way to spend time with me twice. We had a really good time and he was totally relaxed and he displayed his feelings for me. Both times we met he shut down afterwards and became distant. The first time he came out of it after a week and told me he was in love with me. The second time he shut down. He make sure he text me goodmorning everyday but that is it. After the first week askec if he enjoyed his visit and he said he enjoyed me, but it has been 2 weeks since then and he keeps his contact to a minimum. I reply ro his good morning text and occasionally I will ask how is he doing and he will respond but no additional test after. I have been very quiet trying to give him his space. Yesterday I asked if I offended him in any way and wanted to know why I asked. Confused I just said, “i can’t figure you out but and i want to give you your space. Nut I dont need to be in your head I just want to make sure we are good. Your word is good enough for me. He said we are good and texted an emoji kiss. I said okay.
Hello I can imagine your going through a hard time trying to understand this guy. He’s confusing you because he’s confused himself. He has distanced himself because this is what guys do when they are thinking if they want to be with you or not. This also shows how he doesn’t care much about you and more about himself. He says these things like I miss you and all that stuff to make sure your still around for him as an option but does his words match his actions? If he missed you he woukd see you. Does he see you? No ? Then he’s not telling the truth he’s using words to keep you about for his own ego and loneliness. There’s a way u can find out if he wants to be with you or not and that’s by ignoring him he sends u a msg like I miss you can I talk to u or just hello no mater what his msg says u say nothing. A woman’s silence shows and expresses your hurt more than your anger and words do. This also gives him time to properly miss you and it also stops you looking easy in his eyes men want a challenge they want to chase so give him what he wants and don’t feel bad about it either he hurt you did he care ? Sounds like he didn’t.
Absolutely. Why would u even bother with somebody like that. Everybody needs space and that applies to women also but that doesnt mean that u have to distance urself from each other to an extreme where u feel unloved and insecure in the relationship and why should any woman accept that its ok for a man to do this. Imagine if the woman did it…….different story then.
I wouldn’t say that I am a workout fanatic or anything like that but I do love to work out. In fact, I try to get at least five workouts in every single week. And one of the hard truths that I have had to learn about working out is the fact that if you don’t have music playing in your ears while you workout it can be an extremely painful experience.
I think there is a difference between a natural pull away and an uncomfortable/bad pull away. But I also think that men who really care about you will not pull away very much. They may want a day or two alone (natural pull away) but they don’t fade out on you and give you bad vibes (uncomfortable/bad pull away). My experience has always been that the guys that wanted me the most never pulled away, no matter how close we got. My first real serious college boyfriend was always on the same page with me from beginning to end, we… Read more »
I was in a relationship with I guy where I pulled away because I fell in love with him and I needed time to process it. I didnt tell him how I felt. I still texted a little, maybe every second/third day just a bit over two weeks, but by the time I came back, he was moody, and started drifting a little from me. He then wanted time apart because he couldn’t deal with my emotional boundary I put up before. So I told him the issues I had and that I fell in love with him. So while we gave each other space, we missed each other. I was happy to see him when I cane back but he begged me to fall right back into the relationship too fast and it was all a very confusing mix of blaming and missing me and I found myself backing away again. Thats when I decided to stopped seeing him, even though I loved him.
so one day it so a happened that l had a show to perform in since am a model,,,, he shopped for me and gave me everything l wanted to run the show but surprisingly he never showed up and on going home there was another woman who was there and pregnant for him .......,... l cried out my eyes and l moved out of the house in the middle of the night and left the two..... it marked the end of our communication and l regretted why l just moved out the house and during that time he never wanted to see or talk to me
This man is clearly into you, romantically, emotionally, physically, and intellectually. He’s making that clear with his words and actions. He is making an effort to connect, to spend time with you, and is public with his interest and affection. I think you are getting in your own way. It sounds like you need to re-evaluate your expectations of what love/attraction/romance should look like . You say:
In fact, seeing a reconciliation as anything other than a combination of mutual growth and effort is a pretty unhealthy approach. "I would avoid the mindset of 'winning' over anyone," says Dr. Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D., who teaches relationship psychology at the University of Toronto. "If your relationship is missing some key attributes, no one has won in the end."
Even though this one may be hard to swallow because we value ourselves so highly as women and no one likes a blow to the ego or rejection, it’s important to talk about. Often times a man will show you signals of commitment but not want to commit to getting to know you. There are two principal reasons for this. Either they just don’t have interest in you and don’t want to hurt your feelings, or you fell in love too easily and they lost interest in the chase of getting their “prize”. I will go deeper into the meaning of the chase and the “prize” as we move along this article.
"Although it will take some work to rebuild trust, this is your opportunity to form an even deeper bond," Dr. Bockarova says. "But that can only be if you speak up to your partner about what you like and dislike, when you feel hurt and when you feel happy, and how you'd like to be treated." She also recommends therapy to sort out any recurring issues.
I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 8 months now. He completely swept me off my feet in the beginning (it was like a love bomb). He started changing a couple months after that -- we never really "dated" -- it just went from a couple dates where he would take me out and drop me off at my apartment and go back to his. Then, a few weeks later he was practically living in my apartment full time. He blames me for everything wrong in the relationship -- shuts down emotionally now and we just had another blowout and he says to me he needs a week of space. I think he was just using me for convenience because my apartment was closer to his for work. I am so confused. He is not texting much anymore, not interested in my goals and things we used to share and that bonded us in the beginning. It just feels so empty and I can't talk to him because he automatically says that I focus on him too much and I analyze the relationship too much. He calls me crazy and negative, among other things. He basically just comes over and sleeps. No connection, no emotion. I don't know what to do anymore. I think it's time to let him go -- I also think he has narcissistic traits as i've been trying to read and educate myself. Could you offer any advice? Thank you.