In the dating world, I often see that one of the most common reasons men pull away is that they find the woman to be challenging, and she gives in because she likes him. She starts settling and making excuses for his lazy or inappropriate behavior. There are many times I see a woman dating a man, and he shows all the signs that he is not ready for a relationship with his behavior and his words. Instead of pushing yourself towards him in the hopes of changing his mind, I believe the right thing to do in this situation is to dig deep into your feelings. If you can control your feelings by maintaining a friendship, then go for it. (And I’m not talking about being “friends with benefits.”)
I did the no contact for around half a month after we broke up, I tried to focus on myself and improve myself during the period. After that, I started to contact him. He calls me and texts me when he has free time, and he admitted that he still loves me as he thinks I love him. He doesn’t want me to see other guys as he gets jealous. However, when I asked if he regrets making the decision to break up with me, he said he doesn’t. He said even if we’re back together again, the problem is still there…that we’re still in a long distance relationship, but he said he would like to see me again aside from all the future stuff he’s worried about. Is that just an excuse? I thought I’m able to re-attract him again, but I’m not sure if it’s possible to be together again before we meet each other again. Or is it even possible by using the method you provide? Please help…I really appreciate it. Thank you.

My partner and I have been together a little over two years but recently broke up (he broke up with me) and I want to follow all these rules, as I believe I am strong enough to do it and I absolutely want him back however we do currently live together and study at the same school. I’m living in a new town and don’t have any family or friends here so providing space is hard. What do I do???
I need advice. We met on match.com and only dated about 3 weeks but had a great connection from the very beginning. Plus we share a lot in common (we agree about a lot, graduated high school same year, kids are same age). But he broke it off because 1) we moved too fast (didn’t have sex but went further than we intended by date 2) and 2) we’re in different places in our lives – I’m going through a divorce and he’s been divorced for years. I’m devastated. We ended things amicably last week (I didn’t fight it, though I wanted to) and we haven’t been in contact. But he’s been back on match.com already. My question is, what are our chances for trying again in the future? Did moving too fast derail us completely?
Understanding that you do not need a man in order to be the best version of yourself is crucial. Loving yourself and doing exactly what makes you happy is key, which means that you need to know how to be happy alone. When you have this type of mentality, you will be able to spot red flags instantly and become more admirable. If a man wants to be with you, he will make it known throughout the relationship. He will make it known in healthy ways of properly courting you. He’s not going to send you the late night 11 pm or 1 am text for you to come over and “watch a movie.”
The way you can make him regret it is by moving on and being happy without him. Positive attitude and change is what draws people back to you. With that said he might reach out again and don't be too easy to let him in. You want to make sure he has changed too. Follow a couple of things I've mentioned in this blog and stick to focusing on you and letting go of him one step at a time.
This is one of the main differences between men and women when it comes to relationships. Men are more in the moment and are able to comfortably enjoy a situation for what it is as it is. Women are always looking for ways to improve the relationship and push it forward. It’s not that one gender has it right and the other has it wrong. There needs to be a balance between enjoying the present and comfortably laying the foundation for a future. It just can’t be done forcefully.
Personally, I wouldn’t consider it an emergency if he’s without some of his stuff. However, if for whatever the reason he was so worried something happened to you, at some point he would ACTUALLY start looking for you, whether it’s at work or at home, in which you would find it sweet of course, but at the same time you can tell him you’re fine and just need some space.
This article is completely speaking to my current situation. It definitely seems like my guy is pulling away a little bit, still answering texts and things but very barely, not making plans to see me this weekend, etc., but all of the signs up until this point were that he was very into me. I tried reaching out to him a little more than I usually have been in response, but I’m going to pull back a little bit and give him the space he needs and let him come to me as this article says.
honestly I did not show appreciation to my ex while we together. I missed valentines day and his birthday. when I decided to make the best of times with him it was to late. then I asked him for closure and he came talked in person. I told what if I got therapy because there is something going on that effects my relationships. he told its been three weeks and I’m over you….. I cried of course then looked at him and said I feel better. just got sick of being sad, doesn’t mean I’m over him. but its step. then I told me what was really going on and told he’s proud of me said I’m strong person and good girl. he told me to feel free to talk to him and said he wont be jerk to me. he also wants to improve. it sucks that I was to occupied with other stuff in life that i didn’t learn to understand him but oh well. that doesn’t mean has feelings for me. sadly I cant live in world that revolves around him I must create my own world and keeping living up to my goals. this relationship may have been painful but helped realize what I need. we are blind from pain because only look at the bad qualities that it brings us but we all need realize its actually beautiful because it shapes us. I’m going to embrace it this break up..
 7. Think small, think success. The hug is actually a good place to start. Because change creates anxiety, both change and anxiety are best tolerated in smaller doses. Because the goal is to break patterns, to do it different rather than doing it right, you don’t need to think make-over or major campaign. Instead, you simply want to step outside your comfort zone and take concrete steps, however small, that you can successfully do. So try the hug, and if that seems too tough, start with ramping up compliments or writing a note letting the other know how you have been feeling just to get things rolling. 
I’ve been with my ex for 4 years. My first love and vice versa, and we intently spoke about marriage. We broke up a year and a half ago because I was too stubborn to listen to him. He told me I needed to open up more, to communicate better but being an introvert this was extremely difficult for me…so he left. I’ve been trying really hard since and got better at it.
Renee’s, we’ve had no interaction since he responded to confirm he’s dealing with some things and would explain when he could and apologized for pulling away. That was two months ago. It’s been total silence since then.I reached out to give him encouragement and let him know I’m still here for him and loved him and am very proud of the man he is. I asked if he needed more time, no reply yet. That was a week ago. Up until this stage, he’s been a truly reliable, mature, stand up guy. He’s been broken from previous relationships but with… Read more »
MY EX and i broke up a week ago. I want him back. I believe we were good together. But we work together, any advice on how to deal with that? He explained why. He cared about me alot and didn’t want to risk hurting me because ehe was going through something. That he needed to be alone. I told him I was willing to be there and wait for him that wasn’t a good reason to end things. He said no I shouldn’t we went back and forth. At some point we broke up. But I said I’m waiting for him for a while. We were both crying. He told me if I’m still around and he was better we could try again. I just feel my heart is missing a piece

I know this is hard and I am so sorry that you are going through this. You have dated a man that is emotionally unavailable and is following the same pattern that he had in his life. You mentioned his father never married his mother so this is an issue that he has to overcome himself. This is his past playing into his life now. You have to make yourself less available to him and understand that you deserve more than this. I would encourage you to book a session with me or a male coach on my team so we can help you during this time. You can reach out to me on my contact page. If so please state you messaged me on my blog so I can remember. We are here if you need further guidance.
So I started up with this guy about 6 1/2 years ago I was 19 he was 27. I lived in another state at the time and would see him when I came to visit family. When We first started hanging out he would take me to fun places around the city. We ended up sleeping together. He still was showing me attention and we were having fun together. He was sweet and funny and showed me respect. He’d call and talk to me on the phone while I was back home. I came into town for a lil while and had car trouble and no longer had a ride home. He offered to drive me and my friend home. He brought his cousin along to have someone to drive back with and the whole ride back to my house about 6 hr drive he sat in the backseat with me holding my hand and kissing me while his cousin drove. We get to where we are going and he ends up staying the night before hitting the road in the morning. Calls me when he makes it home and tells me about the drive. We continue to stay in touch. Couple months go by and two of my friends and I decide to take a trip to the beach this particular beach about two hours from where I visit family and where this guy lives. So I shoot him a message tell him I’m going to be in his state, he immediately say he wants to come see me. So he drives up there and we stay up all night together watch the sun rise on the beach. He asks me to come back with him. With out hesitation and say yes and there I go with my one tote bag of clothes back to his house. I stayed with him for about a month before going to stay with family. The first two weeks were great. We had great sex and would be cuddled up ever night. We’d go out to grab food maybe get a drink, then he started getting weird. A month goes by and I Decided to go stay with family. Still seeing each other everyday for the most part. I would still go spend the night with him sometimes and then one day he hits me with the I don’t want a relationship With you. Confused as hell asking why and he never had a good answer. He always said it was him not me but specifically said that he didn’t want a relationship with ME, why? I still do not understand to this day. Anyway I ended up finding out that he had knocked up his previous girl and she was having his baby. He already had one kid with his high school sweetheart and supposedly the girl he fell hard for. I honestly don’t think he’s ever gotten over her but the way he talks about her was alway kinda harsh. Anyway here I am feeling crushed and confused by all of this. Then he tells me that he can’t see me anymore he trying to make it work with the new baby mama. Ha that’s funny because the whole time she was staying with him he still would call me and want to see me. She ended up moving out. Things didn’t work out and let me state it was not because of me. So we pick back up and hang out almost everyday again. Having sex most nights me sleeping over and what not. He started confiding in me telling me everything about how he feels about everything besides me. This continues for about 3-4 years I guest a friends with benefits sort of thing but yet we were always doing bf gf things. Yet he still did not want a relationship with me. Not that I kept asking for it I stopped and just accepted the way things were because I cared about him and I wanted him near me. He says he just isn’t in the right mind to have a relationship with anyone doesn’t want one. Then he goes to work with family in a different state. We didn’t talk while he was away. As soon as he gets back he’s calling me up wanting to see me. Talks about how his trip was and how he met a girl and that she was his gf while he was there. Ugh I thought you didn’t want a girlfriend? I’m feel stupid at this point but still felt the need to be near him. He ends up leaving to work out of state again and I finally met someone new that made me feel like I mattered again. I’m with this guy for about four five months and not hearing from the previous one that didn’t want a relationship at all. Then boom he calls on Christmas none the less wants to see me. I’m freaking out like a bomb exploded inside me I hated him for what he did with my emotions I had found someone new who made me feel great and he had to try and mess that up. He showed up at my house I kicked him out feeling frustrated and mad like why? Why do you keep coming back to me? I ignored him even when he’d text me telling me to come over or to come drink with him. I didn’t keep it from my man he and I can tell he knew I had unresolved feelings for him but I hated him or I thought I did. A year goes by and Things got complicated with my man. I fell in love with this new man and he broke my heart. So I did something stupid and decided to let the old one back in. Feeling Harry broken and lonely I started sleeping with him again only once in awhile I didn’t want to see him all the time like a used to because I was already hurt. The sex was fun at first but then he started to pull away again trying to tell me he doesn’t want me falling in love with him. I told him what was up and that I loved this other man and that I just need someone near me. We’ve been doing this for two years now. Hanging out having sex sleeping together. He has moments when I feel he generally feels safe and at hone with me and others where he can’t get away from me fast enough. I have no idea what he wants or is thinking like why does he always come back to me. Why does he insist on making me feel like he wants me but doesn’t. I’ve may his friends his family. Why does he insist on making me feel like I’m not good enough for him? Does he like me does he not? I need answers and he’s not giving them to me. When I’ve asked if he even care at all for me he can never answer me directly always try’s to change the subject. Why am I not good enough for him to be in a relationship with me?
Hi, I and this guy have liked each other for 5 years but we never really dated. It was like a situation where we were both aware of each other’s feelings but we weren’t ready to date but we flirted and didn’t see other people. However, I kinda cheated on him by sexting another guy. Now he just wants to be friends because this is like the second time I’m cheating on him. I’ve apologized severally but he won’t have it this time. He says he’s done. I really do love him and I don’t want to be friends. But he says he doesn’t love me anymore. Help me

Okay so I was dating a guy for 3 months. He chased me for 2 months.. and during the 3 months I went crazy I suppose got super needy and clingy . Which isn’t me.. this guy and I never faught and if we did it was very trival over within 5 mins. Wel he broke up with me but just said he needed some space. Now he been snap chatting me off and on and texting but we haven’t spoken about the break up at all.. idk what to do and is there chance. He was telling me he was scared to talk to me at first. We had an instant connection and he can’t wait to marry me and live and support me. Since he broke up with me I seen my mistakes and have told him sorry for them and that I realize it now and I promise it won’t be the same .
I want you to imagine something for a moment. Lets say that you and your ex girlfriend are texting pretty frequently. The two of you are responding at a pretty good clip (meaning both of you are responding to one another.) I think in this case when she has already proven that she is responding to you in a frequent manner you don’t have to pay as much attention to neutral responses if they are in the middle of a texting conversation.
I’ve been with my ex for 4 years. My first love and vice versa, and we intently spoke about marriage. We broke up a year and a half ago because I was too stubborn to listen to him. He told me I needed to open up more, to communicate better but being an introvert this was extremely difficult for me…so he left. I’ve been trying really hard since and got better at it.
My ex broke up with me almost a month ago. We went about 18 days with no contact whatsoever. I’ve reached out to him via text, and am trying to keep the conversations neutral as possible (it’s still pretty hard for me to talk to him without getting emotional, so texting is the best way I can communicate right now, so he couldn’t hear me over the phone, etc.), and the texting is at the point where I’m not overbearing (we’ve had small exchanges every couple of days). I’ve initiated them all, however. Now I’m wondering if I should go back to a no-contact period. He’s never been the one to initiate much conversation with anyone, including those outside of me. Help?

my ex broke up with me and we did the no contact and I sent an accountable letter and he said the breakup was hard and he thinks of me and wanted to hear from me soon. it was so vague and he didn’t ask any questions. he goes on and talks about him moving on career wise and getting back into hobbies. I’m not sure how to reply back it seems acquired now in some ways. it appears he might be ok us going our separate ways. I wasn’t sure what angle to approach if I reply back
I honestly think that it’s Bill to say its natural for a man to pull away. Ladies if this is a continuing behavior, pout your foot down, thou don’t deserve to be treated like a doormat for him to wipe his get on when he feels comfortable. This way of thinking is saying that its acceptable behavior and we should coddle tnen when they decide to cone around… This is ridiculous and we’re living in a new she of sissyfied men. If I want to coddle something I’ll grab my cat. Step into this mellinium please and stop making men the victims of their selfish behaviors its sickening! Men aren’t children and shouldn’t be treated as such. If they want the relationship they’re in, if not pack sand, have a great life and good luck finding a woman who will out up with that behavior these days.
If you and your ex recently broke up but you really want to maintain a platonic friendship, sending a text to “check in” without asking for anything —i.e., pressuring them to meet up, telling them you “need” to talk, etc — is a solid way to let them know. Sending messages that don’t require a response allows your ex to decide if or when they will respond. By giving them the power to continue or ignore the dialogue, you’re basically saying “I’m here if you need me.”
The way you can make him regret it is by moving on and being happy without him. Positive attitude and change is what draws people back to you. With that said he might reach out again and don't be too easy to let him in. You want to make sure he has changed too. Follow a couple of things I've mentioned in this blog and stick to focusing on you and letting go of him one step at a time.
I had my suspicions that my ex was talking to someone else. I called him out on it and he vanished. No reply, just blocked me. Blocked from messenger but not a full block, we still can see each other’s Facebook. We were very close, talked all day, everyday. It’s been two weeks of NC. Part of me thinks I was right, and he was busted, part of me thinks he’s just mad at me that I would think something like that because things were going so good, maybe I overreacted? I don’t know, he won’t talk to me. The silence is killing me and I just want to work it out. I guess all I can do is wait and see if he comes back around??
If you cannot control your feelings, then I would suggest for you not to maintain a relationship with this person. Furthermore, I always think it’s vital to any starting point in dating or a relationship to be clear about each other’s expectations. If you are looking for a relationship, then let the other person know early on! If not, then say so. There have been too many times that I’ve seen a woman dating a man for months on end, only to end up getting hurt because it became a purely physical “modern relationship” in which the man never truly committed. The two never set the expectations for a relationship, or the woman sat in silence out of fear of being pushed away, hoping he would come around.
Great article I like it but I don’t know what to say , I love my boyfriend an Australian dearly, I knew him in a month from Asian dating cupid and he come to meet me before Christmas, I decided to choose him in among many foreigners bcs his look very respectful and decent and he invited me to go on vacation in Bali Indonesia I’ve decided to accepted his invitation not for easy, just because I’ve care and respectfully when someone cares me. And due to vacation in a week he has changed behavior became ignored me and keeps distant from me, I’ve tried to understand him and to make space not nagging him or ask him what happen? And today 3 January 2018 he asked me to go in different way he find some a reason to leave me, he told me that I’m not good qualified that it is sounds insulting for me
Guys don’t know exactly what it is, but suddenly their instincts are telling them to get away. This usually occurs at the point where the woman could no longer keep the act up. Maybe she’s trying to appear cool and go-with-the-flow, but in her mind she’s already thinking of ways to turn a relationship that’s really nothing at this point into something. From that point forward, it’s not easygoing and natural, it’s her measuring if she is getting closer or further from her goal.
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