So I started up with this guy about 6 1/2 years ago I was 19 he was 27. I lived in another state at the time and would see him when I came to visit family. When We first started hanging out he would take me to fun places around the city. We ended up sleeping together. He still was showing me attention and we were having fun together. He was sweet and funny and showed me respect. He’d call and talk to me on the phone while I was back home. I came into town for a lil while and had car trouble and no longer had a ride home. He offered to drive me and my friend home. He brought his cousin along to have someone to drive back with and the whole ride back to my house about 6 hr drive he sat in the backseat with me holding my hand and kissing me while his cousin drove. We get to where we are going and he ends up staying the night before hitting the road in the morning. Calls me when he makes it home and tells me about the drive. We continue to stay in touch. Couple months go by and two of my friends and I decide to take a trip to the beach this particular beach about two hours from where I visit family and where this guy lives. So I shoot him a message tell him I’m going to be in his state, he immediately say he wants to come see me. So he drives up there and we stay up all night together watch the sun rise on the beach. He asks me to come back with him. With out hesitation and say yes and there I go with my one tote bag of clothes back to his house. I stayed with him for about a month before going to stay with family. The first two weeks were great. We had great sex and would be cuddled up ever night. We’d go out to grab food maybe get a drink, then he started getting weird. A month goes by and I Decided to go stay with family. Still seeing each other everyday for the most part. I would still go spend the night with him sometimes and then one day he hits me with the I don’t want a relationship With you. Confused as hell asking why and he never had a good answer. He always said it was him not me but specifically said that he didn’t want a relationship with ME, why? I still do not understand to this day. Anyway I ended up finding out that he had knocked up his previous girl and she was having his baby. He already had one kid with his high school sweetheart and supposedly the girl he fell hard for. I honestly don’t think he’s ever gotten over her but the way he talks about her was alway kinda harsh. Anyway here I am feeling crushed and confused by all of this. Then he tells me that he can’t see me anymore he trying to make it work with the new baby mama. Ha that’s funny because the whole time she was staying with him he still would call me and want to see me. She ended up moving out. Things didn’t work out and let me state it was not because of me. So we pick back up and hang out almost everyday again. Having sex most nights me sleeping over and what not. He started confiding in me telling me everything about how he feels about everything besides me. This continues for about 3-4 years I guest a friends with benefits sort of thing but yet we were always doing bf gf things. Yet he still did not want a relationship with me. Not that I kept asking for it I stopped and just accepted the way things were because I cared about him and I wanted him near me. He says he just isn’t in the right mind to have a relationship with anyone doesn’t want one. Then he goes to work with family in a different state. We didn’t talk while he was away. As soon as he gets back he’s calling me up wanting to see me. Talks about how his trip was and how he met a girl and that she was his gf while he was there. Ugh I thought you didn’t want a girlfriend? I’m feel stupid at this point but still felt the need to be near him. He ends up leaving to work out of state again and I finally met someone new that made me feel like I mattered again. I’m with this guy for about four five months and not hearing from the previous one that didn’t want a relationship at all. Then boom he calls on Christmas none the less wants to see me. I’m freaking out like a bomb exploded inside me I hated him for what he did with my emotions I had found someone new who made me feel great and he had to try and mess that up. He showed up at my house I kicked him out feeling frustrated and mad like why? Why do you keep coming back to me? I ignored him even when he’d text me telling me to come over or to come drink with him. I didn’t keep it from my man he and I can tell he knew I had unresolved feelings for him but I hated him or I thought I did. A year goes by and Things got complicated with my man. I fell in love with this new man and he broke my heart. So I did something stupid and decided to let the old one back in. Feeling Harry broken and lonely I started sleeping with him again only once in awhile I didn’t want to see him all the time like a used to because I was already hurt. The sex was fun at first but then he started to pull away again trying to tell me he doesn’t want me falling in love with him. I told him what was up and that I loved this other man and that I just need someone near me. We’ve been doing this for two years now. Hanging out having sex sleeping together. He has moments when I feel he generally feels safe and at hone with me and others where he can’t get away from me fast enough. I have no idea what he wants or is thinking like why does he always come back to me. Why does he insist on making me feel like he wants me but doesn’t. I’ve may his friends his family. Why does he insist on making me feel like I’m not good enough for him? Does he like me does he not? I need answers and he’s not giving them to me. When I’ve asked if he even care at all for me he can never answer me directly always try’s to change the subject. Why am I not good enough for him to be in a relationship with me?
Interpret your emotions. In the pain and confusion of a breakup, it can be easy to confuse your emotions, interpreting feelings of loneliness and hurt as evidence that you need your ex back in your life. In fact, almost everyone who experiences a breakup initially feels remorse for the lost relationship, coupled with feelings of anxiety, guilt, depression, and loneliness. Generally, the more serious the relationship was, the more severe these feelings tend to be; couples who are married or cohabiting tend to have the worst breakups, whereas those who were casually dating tend to have an easier time in the aftermath of a breakup.[1] But the severity of your feelings does not automatically mean that you should get back together with your ex.
Yes, the argument I’m referring to was everything that was said when I got teary and upset… I couldnt stop talking and trying to find out the reason for my feelings so I kept asking him why he wanted to stop and no answer he gave made me feel better so I kept on saying I just didn’t understand and asking why didn’t he do this, or that. I also told him I felt rejected and he said that was ridiculous, which upset me more…. we ‘talked’, with me getting more and more upset and he said I was talking… Read more »
A lot of people say trying to make your ex jealous is an effective strategy. To be honest, this is an extremely tricky, dangerous one. But I am going to mention it because it is something a lot of people discuss. In certain situations, it can be extremely effective. In other situations, though, it can be a total trainwreck and lead to a complete disaster.
Understand the breakup. What did each of you do to contribute to the breakup? Most relationship troubles do not crop up unexpectedly, but build up over time. The odds are good that it wasn't a one-sided problem and that there were signs that it was coming. Take some time and do some soul searching before you attempt to get your ex back. You want to make sure you are not wasting your time or energy on something futile.
Getting back together with an ex via text messages is too uncertain and results are far from guaranteed. There are definitely other unconventional methods of getting back together with your significant other that work much better! The most important thing is to not go about reaching your goal without having properly planned it. This is why I highly recommend that you read our eBook that can be found here.
Sometimes there’s that ex you low-key can’t stop thinking about. Even if it’s been years, they still somehow manage to wiggle their way into your head. If it comes to your attention that they are back in town, there’s nothing wrong with dropping them a casual line to say hi. If you’re hoping to see if there’s still a spark but are too nervous to make your intentions known, offering to get lunch is totally a safe bet. Lunch screams friend zone, but if it turns out there’s still a spark, then why not grab a drink afterwards?
Welcome! I am an imperfect mom to 3 girls and a Parent Coach with a License in Family Therapy. My goal is to help you feel less angry, manage anxiety, talk to your kids with empathy, and learn to discipline without punishment. If you are frustrated, stuck or unsure how to make changes in your parenting, I provide online Parent Coaching sessions in the US and internationally.

So he moved out of my flat but he left the majority of his stuff here at my apartment. I went on a trip and I asked him to take his stuff from my place for good, he had 7 days for that. When I arrived home, nothing happened, his stuff were still here. During my holiday I didn’t contact him, when he messaged me, I didn’t respond him. When I was traveling home he messaged me like “we need to talk.” I didn’t know what could happened, so I replied with a simple “about what?” when he told me he didn’t have the emotional strength to take his stuff and he also was worried about me that if something terrible happened to me or what? So I replied to his messages focusing on the context like “I’m gonna pack your stuff alone” and then he asked me if I need help with it, I answered him with a simple “no”. So did I violated the “no contact rule” here? Can we consider all this as “emergency”? and also do you think I made “one of the biggest mistakes” by being too cold or rude? Please help me, I don’t want to drive him away, I don’t know what to do. :(

My girlfriend and I have been together for 15 months and we are facing a major problem. I just want to start off with saying that she’s the one that recommended me to ask you for advice because right now, I am pretty much confused to do at this point. My girlfriend has told you about what she did when she went over to that guys house and about another guy who is a co-volunteer that volunteers at the nursing home as she does. I have gotten numerous screenshots about she herself committing to what she have done, which is cheating. I also have her best friends claiming those that she did do those things. When i confronted her for the first time she only told me one third of it. Again i find there’s more to the story from her friends. Again i try confronting her and now she told me 2/3. You know where I’m going with this. Anyway now that everything has been cleared out, i asked her why. She told me “i just said all those things because out of anger”. But then i asked her why would she say that. She was angry at me at the time when this occurred so i would understand that she could be saying this out of anger but why not clear this out with her friends? Plus this been hidden for 6 months so why this long? Also one of my friends saw her but they said nothing was happening, just her and this guy in the park talking. I let that go. Then another friend who is currently dating one of her ex-best friends told me that she told him about her cheating. I asked him why would she say that and he said that she was claiming to hurt me by the way is not because she kept it hidden. I asked her about that too and she claims the something, it was out of anger she said all those things to hurt me. This situation happened throughout last summer. I admit that i did not reply to her text for 2 days and keep making her feel bad but i always made sure to make up for that. Now we are trying to work things out but I’m still something sort of confused what to do, so that’s why i writing to you for some advise.
The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own. 

Instead you’ll focus on filling your life with things you love doing, things that make you happy, things that make you feel good. Fill your life up and LIVE HAPPY. While you’re giving him space to miss you and worry that he’s lost you forever (which will make him want you back more and more), you’ll be getting STRONGER by lifting your mood and happiness up, up, up…
I met my friend online about 5 months ago. At first he kept in constant contact with me. Then his contact became less frequent. I realized I was the one doing most of the initiating so I stepped back. After 8 days he contacted me saying I dont love him anymore. He explained the problem was not me. He schedule is very busy cause he has a 9-5 job plus an evening contract plus he own several propertyies. I thought he was lieing to me and he was a player. I found out he eas telling the truth. Most times he is extrememly tired. He made a way to spend time with me twice. We had a really good time and he was totally relaxed and he displayed his feelings for me. Both times we met he shut down afterwards and became distant. The first time he came out of it after a week and told me he was in love with me. The second time he shut down. He make sure he text me goodmorning everyday but that is it. After the first week askec if he enjoyed his visit and he said he enjoyed me, but it has been 2 weeks since then and he keeps his contact to a minimum. I reply ro his good morning text and occasionally I will ask how is he doing and he will respond but no additional test after. I have been very quiet trying to give him his space. Yesterday I asked if I offended him in any way and wanted to know why I asked. Confused I just said, “i can’t figure you out but and i want to give you your space. Nut I dont need to be in your head I just want to make sure we are good. Your word is good enough for me. He said we are good and texted an emoji kiss. I said okay.
It works better with guys you know in real life, but if you’re having trouble getting started then pick your favorite actor. The important part is that you do this once per day, and that you really stick with it. It might not seem like it’s doing much at first, but in reality it’s detoxing your mind consciously and unconsciously from your ex, and putting you in a much better mental state.
Guys don’t know exactly what it is, but suddenly their instincts are telling them to get away. This usually occurs at the point where the woman could no longer keep the act up. Maybe she’s trying to appear cool and go-with-the-flow, but in her mind she’s already thinking of ways to turn a relationship that’s really nothing at this point into something. From that point forward, it’s not easygoing and natural, it’s her measuring if she is getting closer or further from her goal.
If a man is honest and tells you he does not want a relationship, then as a woman you should honor his truth in telling you this and take a moment to reflect and understand that you may need to pull away. Not to mention, if he also gives you the popular one-liner by saying, “I’m just seeing where things go,” proceed with caution. This is not a committed answer, so why would he want to commit to you? This is just an answer to lure you away from the truth in hopes to keep you around for what he is in search of pleasure and attention.

my ex broke up with me and we did the no contact and I sent an accountable letter and he said the breakup was hard and he thinks of me and wanted to hear from me soon. it was so vague and he didn’t ask any questions. he goes on and talks about him moving on career wise and getting back into hobbies. I’m not sure how to reply back it seems acquired now in some ways. it appears he might be ok us going our separate ways. I wasn’t sure what angle to approach if I reply back
im doing the same thing you’ll do now your not alone i know it hurts but that what u should do, let him lose you and thinks hes a failure dont allow him to think he can play with your feelings, your not his toy if he cant decide what he wants then leave him to grom up and make decisions in life, hes immature and you did the right thing your so smart of going no contact and standing on what you want bravo, now do not let him take advantage and decide what he wants do what you want, you want him as a bf he didnt respect that he wants friends you dont so bye to him and lifes always comes around believe me one day he’ll come begging to have you back.

Sometimes, no matter what you do, he might have just moved on. Which is okay. Be prepared to face this reality. We can’t control the hearts of others, but you should feel proud knowing that you put yours on the line and took a leap of faith. If he has moved on, respect his space. As long as you respect his space, you never know what the future will hold.
My girlfriend has accused me of neglecting her over recent months, I admit i have taken my eye off the ball because of the stress of studying and probably not payed her the attention she deserves. Also she has questioned why we are not married and do not have children, there is no reason, i would like to marry her but I guess i’ve taken for granted we could do this anytime.
So my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and 4 months. Honestly he was obsessed and so was I but i became too comfortable. He was my world and I never thought he would leave me. He would always chase after me and showering me with love and it made me the happiest person alive. One day he got tired of fighting with me and he dumped. told me he didnt want me anymore. I looked like a fool, i begged i cried i ran after him but he just walked away with his head up. it was so painfully. he blocked me on everything so i dont have contact but if i text him he will usually unblock to read my messages. it hurts so bad and as messed up as it is i still want him. I want him back so badly it kills.

The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own.
Absolutely. Why would u even bother with somebody like that. Everybody needs space and that applies to women also but that doesnt mean that u have to distance urself from each other to an extreme where u feel unloved and insecure in the relationship and why should any woman accept that its ok for a man to do this. Imagine if the woman did it…….different story then.

This is actually work! Haha he broke up with me and ignored me for weeks. Once i worried why he didnt text me back, i kept to texted him and called him and he kept gave me the silent treatment then i gave up didnt say a word to him but i was still kinda hope he would texted me back. So i patient waiting for 2 months . tried cold as he did to me and then suddenly he texted me and also asked my sister how am doing and told me he missed me and etc and want me back! I meant if you trully love someone you need to be more patient and calm. Sometime guys love to test us and we are girls hate that.

Forgive each other. This can be the hardest part of mending a relationship, but also the most crucial. Forgiveness releases pent up anger, pain, and emotions so that they don’t come back later in life, sabotaging all the progress you’ve made. Remember that no one is perfect, and without forgiveness, there wouldn't be a single working relationship on the planet.[6]
So, get this. I’ve been seeing this guy for almost 3 months now, so not long. We have taken things pretty casually, I don’t know his past & haven’t asked. When it comes to ‘feelings’ I can tell he is not safe talking about it. We are completely compatible, and honestly I feel as if he’s my person. When we first started talking, we discussed about meeting the parents in general, and he expressed how he doesn’t bring just anyone home to his family & he wants to be sure they will be around for a while before doing so. So, I let him make the call as to when that would happen, if it would. A few weeks ago, he told me to reserve a specific date open for going home to meet his family. Which was just a week ago. Of course, it was the perfect weekend. Introduced me to his whole family, classmates, and family friends, and stayed an extra day than planned. 3 days later, I sent him a nice text- did not say the L word, but was pretty strong feeling. He replied with not feeling the same as me, and didn’t want to waste my time. I have tried calling him one time to get an explanation and he has not responded. Haven’t bugged him since the phone call. It’s so frustrating where 48 hrs prior to the text I was with him at his parents and seen absolutely no red flags. What should I do? What does this mean? I have never had a guy ‘pull away’ before.
Long distance relationship, We dead-loved each other for one year and then I broke up. She left immediately and I missed her for two weeks and texted back. Three months I didnt care, She kept texting and called. slowly she came up with this breakup thing. All of a sudden she declared breakup and I couldnt digest it. I begged her for 2 weeks. Will she get back? How long should I wait?
my ex contacted me out of the blue, after 6 months with a simple how are you doing, I waited at 30 minutes before replying. thank you, I hope you are doing well. well any how we met the same night one thing led to an other and we had sex. we talked for hours as of nothing had happened. I sent him a good morning text and vaguely replayed and has not messaged. should I wait until he does or text him first
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