I don’t know if someone could give me an advice, or maybe i’ll be criticized but i need to tell someone my storry. It’s a bit large so i apologize but it’s because of how complicated things are. Three years ago i started working as a girl of “company” ( i don’t really like the other words that describe this job). On my sixth month i met Him. At first he was just one of my best clients. But we got to talk a lot and start knowing each other, so we fell in love. He says he fell in… Read more »
So now that we know what the reasons might be, it's easier to understand how to react or, more importantly, how not to react. After careful observation of love and dating, this is what I know to be true: Convincing a man to love you will never work. Trying to persuade him to see how great you are together is pointless. Sharing your feelings with the hopes he will realize how much he means to you will also get you nowhere.
I really love him. I just want to hear from him. Some of the reasonings we broke up include he felt unappreciated, he wasn’t “getting” happy, he’s bored with the relationship because all we do is sit around, which I immediately told him that’s not fair and I always try to get him to do things and said I know. But a few more reasons he’s told me, he wants to be around someone positive, and I’ll admit I haven’t been in the best shape lately. I lost my job, I’ve been going through family issues, and friend issues. I always am first to tell him everything. I can understand why this is what could push him away. He is a very easy go free kind of guy. He also told me “I’m not what he wants in a girlfriend” of course all these words hurt. I think about everything he’s said and it hurts. Do I believe them? Slightly.
I’m on the other side of the coin. I’ve been dating a woman for three years and she is a raging workaholic. We rarely spend time together, if we do she falls asleep, or we have time to do nothing because she always has to be AT WORK. Living together would solve some of the problems but she always has an excuse as to why she works all the time or some martyr-ific After two years, I’ve finally gotten tired of trying to communicate my feelings and am taking time for myself. It’s hard to talk when you feel that someone is not listening.
Hey girl, I don´t want to be rude intruding in something that´s clearly none of my business, but reading you has made me very upset about you boyfriend, or well, the father of your child. He needed space, but started seing someone else? I know you must love him, but that´s not a mature way to behave. If he can´t be responsible for his actions and its consequences, you should better move on. And you say it was a planned pregnancy, so there was a discussion and plenty of time to declare that he was not sure about it, if that is the case. It is very unfair that now he gets to decide if he wants to be there, in this stage of life, if he is “ready”, while you are already pregnant and shouldn´t it be something just yours. He is inmature, selfish and irresponsible, you don´t need another child to raise but the one you are carrying. So, I send you from very far away, all my strenghts and good wishes, put yourself up together and love yourself, so once the baby is born he/she will have a caring mom. The best for you and your baby, take care of yourself…
My partner and I have been together a little over two years but recently broke up (he broke up with me) and I want to follow all these rules, as I believe I am strong enough to do it and I absolutely want him back however we do currently live together and study at the same school. I’m living in a new town and don’t have any family or friends here so providing space is hard. What do I do???
Put out the fire by focusing directly on the process, the emotions and actions. We’re beginning to argue, I’m starting to feel angry. Fix the emotion – your anger – by breathing and calming yourself down, by walking away. Do your best to stay out of the weeds of content; if you don't, you'll wind up talking about Christmas '08 again, and you know where that leads.
I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 8 months now. He completely swept me off my feet in the beginning (it was like a love bomb). He started changing a couple months after that -- we never really "dated" -- it just went from a couple dates where he would take me out and drop me off at my apartment and go back to his. Then, a few weeks later he was practically living in my apartment full time. He blames me for everything wrong in the relationship -- shuts down emotionally now and we just had another blowout and he says to me he needs a week of space. I think he was just using me for convenience because my apartment was closer to his for work. I am so confused. He is not texting much anymore, not interested in my goals and things we used to share and that bonded us in the beginning. It just feels so empty and I can't talk to him because he automatically says that I focus on him too much and I analyze the relationship too much. He calls me crazy and negative, among other things. He basically just comes over and sleeps. No connection, no emotion. I don't know what to do anymore. I think it's time to let him go -- I also think he has narcissistic traits as i've been trying to read and educate myself. Could you offer any advice? Thank you.